There are probably over a million books and blogs written on the how to topic of living a happier life. What is great about all of them is that for the most part they all work for someone out there. I like to believe I live a happy life. When I wake up, I’m excited to go to work! The people who surround me are all incredible and they give me something to be happy about each and every day. Continue reading
Nothing changed until I changed: How some clients/athletes will irritate you until you realize it’s not them, it’s you.
This post if for the coaches but goes well with anyone who deals in public relationships or in a leadership role. I however will relate it to my career as relating to any other would make no sense. This is about that person(s) who you really cannot get to. The person you feel is out to get you every time they walk into the gym. It is about that person who makes you say “Wow, what the hell?”. More importantly however, this is about you. Because the feeling you get from knowing you are about to train that person and the response, or lack there of, you get from that person has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you.
If you are a coach, you know the person I am talking about. It is not uncommon or rare for this person to come along. I have a great example of this person. In 2008 I started my personal training career at the Texas A&M Sports and Recreation Center. I was 19, had held a personal trainers certificate for about a year and was training anywhere from 4-6 people per week. It was great and I loved it until I started to train “her”. If I remembered her name, I would say it but I can’t remember for the life of me. She came in as most of our clients did there. Overweight and slightly motivated. But this case was different. In fact she made it very clear she had no intention of ever being interested in getting in shape. Yet, she showed up every day telling me how her mom and dad signed her up and gave her the money to “Say she had a trainer”. The breaking point came after thanksgiving when she came back to training and said “Oh you would be so proud, I ate so much pie and desserts, it was great!” That was it, I couldn’t take it anymore and I ended our session/sessions for good.
Looking back I think of my immaturity and inability to communicate the importance of health and wellness to this girl. Her attitude was poor, but my one way tunnel of motivation was not what worked for her so therefore I gave up. Each day I had a paradigm of what that day would be like. I envisioned the hour of training would be horrible so therefore every time we met, it was. I never had a positive attitude so who was I to expect her to have one?
The Fix: If you want to change someone else you must first realize that is NOT possible. People are who they are especially once they have reached adulthood and thinking they will change is ignorance. We as coaches must understand that WE have to change if we want to connect with those who are a little harder to get to. We have to explore and learn new forms of leadership, we must change our paradigm of how we believe the training session will go, we have to understand that no two people are alike and they all require a different approach. Here are the steps I take when dealing with “that person”.
Start first by simply talking to them. Learn more about them, their family, their past, and the things they like. Getting an insight into their personal lives will 1) Give you a foundation of who they are and 2) Will make them feel more comfortable. I mean, who doesn’t like talking about themselves? This talk is not about their attitude or behaviour this talk is simply getting to know them in a more personal manner.
If things are still shaky, the next talk you need to have with them is to show 1) Why you care and 2) Why what you are trying to get them to do is important. What is the alternative to NOT exercising? Once they understand that you care about them (many times these people don’t care a lot about themselves and figure you don’t care either) and they see the alternative to not being healthy, they may begin to become more open to your leadership and coaching.
Lastly I must admit that some people just down right don’t care or want to be there. This is however VERY RARE. If they pay money and show up daily, they want to be there. Don’t get to this conclusion too quickly. weeks or months may pass before they really begin to understand, care and commit. We are sometimes to quick to think, that this option is the final option. If this is what it has come to, you simply let them go. Their attitude is not worth your time and there are always others out there looking to commit and begin a new life journey.
Maybe you have not come across this person yet. If you haven’t, trust me you will. But don’t think of it as a bad thing. Think of it as an opportunity to grow as a leader, communicator and of course, a coach.
– Coach David de Leon
Do we sometimes not realize how much opportunity is around us? Opportunity for growth in life, success, health, wellness, family, education, spirituality and just about anything else we want to improve in would begin to pop up. Unfortunately much of this opportunity is masked by our perception be it good or bad.
If we just changed the way we saw where we are right now, opportunity would begin to arise. It is not about where you are, it is about how you perceive where you are.
Too often we listen to our body or mind when they say, “ok, enough is enough”. I am here to change what you listen to. Your heart holds your drive, your purpose and your motivation. Don’t let your mind or body tell you when your done. Let your heart do the talking.
No matter how hard we try, humans are many times very ego driven. Many things we do, we do them in order to help ourselves. We travel so we can see the world, we work so we can make money, we workout so we can stay fit. Many times, it has very little to do with anyone else.
Your level of fitness does not differ greatly. You workout so you can look and feel better. So you can stay active and so you can live a long happy and healthy life. All these things are great, but there is 1 problem, you should not be the focus of your fitness results.
If you sometimes struggle finding a reason to go to the gym when you just feel “too tired”, remember your fitness is for your family, both present and future. Remember that quitting on your workouts is not quitting on yourself, but on your friends, family, wife, husband, and children.
Many times I tell my athletes the 2 things I want them to be able to do in their 70’s and beyond is sit on the toilet without using a hand-rail and run and play with their grandkids.
The level of your fitness should be important to you, but remember that you are not the only one relying on YOU being fit. Those around you young and old are also relying on your physical wellness in order to allow THEM to live happy lives as well.
So don’t just do it for you, do it for the ones you love!
Who/what drives you to stay physically fit? Comment below and let me know.
– Coach David